


I Wanna Make A Life, But I Wanna Live There, Too

by seibelsays



Series: The Adventures of Izzy [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, F/M, Family, Father-Daughter Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-05
Updated: 2019-09-05
Packaged: 2020-10-10 02:43:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20520647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seibelsays/pseuds/seibelsays
Summary: Bucky misses his girls while stuck away on a mission.





	I Wanna Make A Life, But I Wanna Live There, Too

Bucky stared down at his phone, gently running his thumb along the edge of the screen. Darcy and Izzy smiled up at him from the screen, a selfie Izzy had apparently insisted on first thing that morning. Darcy’s hair was still wet from her morning shower and Izzy had jam all over her face and the two of them were the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

_We love you so much, Bucky. We’ll see you soon._ That’s what the accompanying message had said. It punched a hole in his chest, one that only grew bigger the further the Quinjet took him away from his girls.

“That’s a good one,” Sam said, nodding at Bucky’s phone as he peeked over his shoulder. “They send that this morning before we left?”

“Yeah,” Bucky confirmed, his voice rough. “Darcy got it in just before we shut down the signal at takeoff.”

“Darcy’s always had great timing,” Sam said, his voice carefully neutral.

Bucky stared down at his phone again, missing his girls so much he almost couldn’t breathe.

It was ridiculous. They’d taken off _two hours_ ago. They were going to be away for a few days, at the most. It wasn’t anything they hadn’t been through a dozen times before.

That knowledge didn’t change the twinge in his chest at the thought of being away from them.

He turned the phone off, Darcy’s eyes the last thing to fade from the screen as it powered down. He gave Sam a wry, teasing grin as he pushed the longing feeling down. “You got your own family to go home to, Wilson. Stop ogling mine.”

* * *

Two weeks. Two weeks on this godforsaken mission. Two weeks of radio silence. 

Two weeks of _pointless_ radio silence. Their target wasn’t even in this time zone at the moment.

Two weeks since he’d seen or spoken to his girls. It was the longest they’d been apart since Izzy was born - scratch that. It might be the longest since he and Darcy first got together. This mission wasn’t supposed to go on this long and he was struggling to remain focused when all he wanted to do was run back home and curl up on the couch with his girls.

He wanted ice cream dates and freedom cookies and whatever other nonsense they could dream up that meant nothing and also absolutely everything. 

He _missed_ them so fiercely he was pretty sure he could power the safehouse with it.

“You’re up,” Sam said, wandering in from the other room. “Signal is shit, but at least there is one.”

Bucky jumped to his feet and bolted for the roof. Once he was in the tiny, sheltered enclave they’d set up for limited satellite communication, he pounded his passcode into the console. If he only had 10 minutes, he didn’t want to waste one second of that time doing anything but talking to his family.

_Brrrrrrrlp._

_Brrrrrrrlp._

_Brrrrrrrlp._

_PARRRRP. “Hey you’ve reached me. Who calls anymore, seriously? Text me like a civilized person.” CLICK._

Bucky blinked. Why was his call going to voicemail? Steve was supposed to get word to Darcy that the satellite would be up today - and if she knew that, there’s no way she would have left the range of an exceptionally reliable signal or been more than a foot away from her phone. So...what happened?

He pushed the button to dial again.

_Brrrrrrrlp._

_Brrrrrrrlp._

_Brrrrrrrlp._

_PARRRRP. “Hey you’ve reached me. Who calls anymore, seriously? Text me like a civilized person.” CLICK._

Had...had something happened? An itch built under Bucky’s skin, as he burned to know what was going on at home. This was so unlike Darcy that the only possible scenarios he could conceive were that their home burned down with Darcy and Izzy trapped inside or rogue HYDRA agents holding them hostage.

He pushed the button one more time.

_Brrrrrrrlp._

_Brrrrrrrlp._

_Brrr-_

_“BUCKY I’M SO SORRY!”_ Darcy’s frantic voice yelled, filling the small enclave. 

The vice that had gripped Bucky’s chest with panic suddenly released at the sound and he had to lean forward and rest his head against the desk for a moment to ward off the vertigo.

_“Ohmigod, I’m so so so so sorry. We’ve been waiting at home all day for your call, and I had just gotten up to finish some laundry and of course my phone fell behind the dryer just as you called. I’ve been scrambling to dig it out, but man this sucker is heavy.”_

“Darcy,” Bucky gasped. He finally lifted his head so he could see her face on the screen. “You’re okay, though?”

_“Yeah, baby, I’m fine. I’m so sorry to worry you.”_ There were a few unshed tears in her eyes as she spoke and Bucky’s entire being shifted into “make it better” mode.

“It’s okay, Darce, I promise. I’m just glad we were able to connect. I’d have been a useless mess otherwise,” he reassured her.

Darcy gave him a watery grin. _“You mean you’re not a useless mess without me anyway?”_

Bucky huffed out a laugh. “You know it.”

Darcy reached a hand towards her camera and Bucky leaned a little closer, wishing she were actually in front of him, instead of somewhere behind a screen.

_“How are you, baby?”_ she murmured.

“Better now,” he said.

Darcy hummed in agreement.

“I miss you so much,” he whispered. “You and Izzy. I didn’t think it was possible to miss anyone this much.”

Darcy’s burrow furrowed slightly, her eyes filled with concern. _“Bucky...This isn’t the first time you’ve been away on a mission. Did...did something happen?”_

He shook his head. “No. It’s the longest I’ve been away though.”

Darcy nodded. _“I know. We miss you too, you know. So much. You’re our rock. Things kinda go to pieces without you.”_

Bucky swallowed down the sob that threatened to escape. 

_“But Izzy and I are fine, baby. I swear it.”_ There was a muffled sound as Darcy looked away from the camera and off to the side. _“In fact…”_ she grinned and disappeared for a moment, then reappeared, pulling Izzy into her lap.

_“DADDY!”_ Izzy cried.

“Baby girl,” Bucky breathed. “Look at you.”

_“Daddy, guess what.”_ Izzy said as Darcy smiled down at her.

Bucky grinned. “What?”

Izzy leaned into the camera and smiled wide. There was a loud crackling sound as her blew air through her teeth and into the microphone. As she did, Bucky could make out a tiny wiggle of a tooth.

Holy shit. Izzy was about to lose her first tooth.

And Bucky was on the other side of the planet.

“Oh...wow…” he said, weakly. 

THUMP THUMP THUMP.

The knock at the door meant his time was up. 

“No,” he breathed. It wasn’t enough time. He _needed_ more time.

The look on Darcy’s face told him she’d heard the knock as well and knew what it meant. 

_“We’ll see you so soon, right? Not long now?”_ Darcy asked, giving him a brave smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“So soon,” he promised. 

_“Daddy has to go?”_ Izzy asked. _“Daddy, why do you have to go?”_

He didn’t care what he had to do - he needed to be home _yesterday_.

Darcy shifted, snuggling into Izzy a little. _“We’ll talk to him soon, doodlebug. What do we say?”_

Izzy stared into the camera for a brief moment, thoughts and feelings far beyond her years in her eyes. Then she gave him her biggest grin. _“I LOVE YOU, DADDY!”_ she shouted.

Darcy scrunched up her face at the sheer volume of their daughter’s voice. She plugged a finger into her ear as her shoulders shook with laughter and Bucky felt his breath catch in his chest. 

“I love you, too, baby girl. I’ll see you soon.”

Darcy smiled at him. _“I love you, Bucky.”_

“I love you, Darcy. I’ll be home soon, okay? I swear to you. I’ll be home and it’ll be-”

_“And it’ll be enough for us,”_ Darcy said. She blew a kiss at the camera. _“I love you.”_

The camera cut out and Bucky sank in on himself with a quiet sob.

* * *

A week later and he was back in the enclave. It was the middle of the day where he was, but Darcy had just climbed into bed and was lit only by the light of her phone. He’d shuttered the one window of the enclave to try to match her surroundings - it was as close as they were going to get to being in the same time zone for awhile.

“God, I miss you,” he whispered into the dark. 

_“I’d suggest Skype sex, but I’m pretty sure these feeds are monitored and no one gets paid enough for that.”_

Bucky laughed. “True. But it’s not even that, it’s…” He shook his head, then looked up at her, a bit sharply. “I mean. It _is_ that. Don’t think it’s not.”

_“I’m not over here thinking my husband isn’t attracted to me anymore, Buck. Stop worrying your pretty face about it.”_ Darcy grinned at him. _“Just tell me what you’re thinking.”_

“_This_. I miss this.” He shook his head again as he tried to put the gaping hole he felt in his chest into words. “I miss you. I miss you like crazy. I miss _us_.” His voice broke a little, but he carried on. “I miss Izzy. I miss our family.” He closed his eyes with a sigh. “I don’t even know what the hell I’m even doing over here. They don’t need us - a few baby agents could have handled this. Hell, a satellite could have handled this.”

_“Do I need to go put a bug in someone’s ear?”_ It was a nice way of asking if she needed to go yell at Steve and he loved her all the more for it. She would go toe to toe with Steve, Fury, the president herself if he asked. If he didn’t. She would do it, if he needed her to.

“No, no. I’m thinking…” He sighed again. “I’m thinking I have a lot of thinking to do when I get back.” He gave her a significant look. True to form, she gave him the small smile that told him she understood him perfectly and that she supported him, no matter what.

_“Any indication as to when that might be?”_

THUMP THUMP THUMP.

Time was up.

“Soon.”

* * *

Sam sat down heavily at the table and scrubbed his face with his hand. He left his eyes closed for a moment, then sighed and dragged the messenger bag he’d dropped onto the table in front of them, digging through it.

Bucky stared at him. “You alright?”

“We’ve been out here a month. A _month_. And nothing. I’m starting to think we’re out here for no good reason.”

He raised an eyebrow at him. “Only starting?” Sam Wilson was not an idiot and there was no way he hadn’t come to the same conclusion Bucky had long before now. 

“Shut up,” Sam grumbled, although there was no heat behind it. “If I think too hard about it, it’s only going to piss me off.”

“That’s how I know you’re a better man than me,” Bucky said good-naturedly as he dug a deck of cards out of his pocket and began to shuffle. “We’ve been out here for a month and you’re only just now getting mad about it.”

Sam eyed him. “What about you? You’re not mad anymore?”

Bucky grinned. “I’ve moved beyond anger. Want to play?”

Sam’s eyes narrowed. “What’s the game and what are the stakes?”

“Live a little, Sammy.”

“I live plenty.”

Bucky’s grin grew wider and he started to deal. Sam pulled a small stack of papers out of the bag and pushed them toward Bucky.

“Intel drop today.”

Bucky ignored the papers. “Oh joy.”

Sam grinned as he dropped the bag to his feet. He pushed through the papers idly as Bucky finished dealing, then he paused suddenly.

“Buck?”

“Yeah?”

“I think...I think this is for you.”

Bucky gave him a confused look. “Me...specifically?”

Sam pulled a small envelope from the pile and handed it to Bucky. Bucky took it and gave it a quick once-over. It was sloppily sealed, with a careful “JAMES” written in black marker on the outside. He pulled a knife from his belt and flipped it between his fingers, then quickly sliced open the envelope. Inside was one sheet of paper, folded haphazardly. Bucky opened it and something fell out of the folds and onto the table with a soft ping.

“Is that...a tooth?” Sam asked. “Who the hell is mailing you _teeth_ at our secure safehouse while on a shadow mission?”

Bucky blinked away his shock and looked to the paper.

_Dear Daddy,_

_Mommy says Uncle Loki collects lost teeth to make him strong. So here’s my tooth to make you strong. I drew a picture, too._

_Love,_  
_Izzy_

Bucky promptly gasped out a sob, thrust the paper at Sam, and buried his face in his hands. Sam stared at him in concern for a moment, before tearing his eyes away to read the note.

“Oh Izzy,” Sam breathed.

“I’m calling it, Sam. That’s it. I don’t care what anyone else has to say about it. We’re going home.”

* * *

26 hours later, Bucky crept into his house, silently locking the door behind him so as to not wake anyone inside. It was just past 2 in the morning, and while _he_ was wide awake, no one else should be.

He quietly set his gear in the closet and secured the lock. The last thing they needed was a curious Izzy going digging through _those_ bags. 

Speaking of Izzy.

Bucky silently made his way down the hall towards her room and peeked inside. By the dim light of her Hulk-themed nightlight, he could just make out his daughter’s tiny form sprawled across the bed. There was a pile of stuffed animals near the foot of the bed that she’d clearly knocked away from her as she moved in her sleep. He couldn’t stop the grin that formed at the sight, as Izzy had _in no way_ inherited her sleeping habits from her mother. On nights when Izzy insisted on joining her parents in the big bed, sharing the space with the two of them sometimes felt like a cage match - one he was happy to lose.

He silently pulled the door mostly closed and continued down the hall to his and Darcy’s room. He got ready for bed as quickly and quietly as possible, then stood near the bed, staring at his wife. She’d fallen asleep with the light on again, her glasses still on and a book in her hand. He gently took the book from her, placing a bookmark and setting it gently on the nightstand, having learned long ago that setting the book face down to keep the place would only earn him a lecture about breaking the book’s spine. Then he turned out the light and crawled in next to her, easing himself into the sheets in the hopes of not waking her. 

He was home now - they had all the time in the world to reconnect.

“Bucky?” Darcy rasped sleepily. “That you?”

“What would you do if I said no?”

Darcy grunted. “Tase you. Duh.”

Bucky chuckled. “Go back to sleep, baby.”

“Nope.” Darcy went to rub at her eyes and hit her glasses. She made a small, displeased sound, then pushed them up into her hair so she could rub the sleep from her eyes properly, then adjusted her glasses again so she could see him. “You’re home,” she whispered happily.

“I’m home.”

She leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. “Missed you.”

“I missed you so much, Darcy.”

Darcy hummed happily at that and gave him a sleepy smile.

“I’m not...I won’t go away like that again, Darce. I promise.”

“It’s okay, you don’t-”

“No, Darce. We’ll talk in the morning, okay? You can go back to sleep.”

Darcy snorted, her usual laugh blunted by fatigue. “Izzy’s going to claim you the _instant_ she wakes up. Talk now.”

Bucky sighed and laid his head against the pillow, pulling Darcy into his arms so he could cuddle her properly. “Did you know Izzy sent me her tooth?”

“She what now.”

He chuckled a little. “Wrote up a little note, tucked the tooth inside, and somehow snuck it into the hard intelligence drop.”

“She’s got every robot in this place wrapped around her little finger,” Darcy sighed.

“She wrote that you told her a story about Loki stealing teeth?”

“Uhhhh….what?”

Bucky shrugged. “No idea what that’s about.”

Darcy blinked a few times as her brow furrowed while she thought. “I can’t imagine where she...oh. OH. That little stinker.”

“What is it?”

Darcy sighed. “I _may_ have made a comment to Jane that Loki’s strength was identifying and exploiting my weaknesses. We were talking about poker night.”

Bucky laughed. “How in the world-”

“Who knows. Izzy was _supposed_ to be napping,” Darcy grumbled. “Like I said. Things go to pieces without you.”

Bucky pulled Darcy closer. “Speaking of. I’m out. Retired. Officially, tomorrow. But - that’s it. I’m done.”

Darcy blinked slowly and was quiet long enough that Bucky wasn’t entirely sure she’d understood him. 

“We were okay, you know,” Darcy said. “We missed you - _god_ did we miss you. But you don’t have to do this for us. I was mostly kidding about the falling to pieces thing.”

“I do have to do this though. For us. For me.”

“Why?”

“My whole life has been about...taking care of people. My sisters. Steve. Then the whole damn world when I went off to war, and again with the Avengers after...after everything. It was what I knew, and I was good at it. And for a long time that was what I wanted - it was the only life I could imagine myself wanting, you know? Until I met you. You and me, we just made a whole new kind of sense, you know? There was suddenly this entire world out there, this entire life I could have - that you and I could build together. And we _have_.”

“I love our life,” Darcy whispered.

“I do too.” Bucky tucked a bit of Darcy’s hair behind her ear. “We’ve built this amazing, wonderful life. I don’t want to just...watch it from the other side of a screen, stuck in some dingy safehouse. I want to be here to live it with you. So I’m out. My new mission - the most important mission I’ll ever have - is here with you. Making this life with you.”

“You’re sure? No more part-time Avenging? No more being Captain America every third Thursday?”

“I’m sure. The only thing in this life I have ever been more sure about was marrying you.”

Darcy’s smile grew slowly. “Okay. I want to live this life with you too, you know.”

“I know. Let’s go to sleep. I’ll make pancakes in the morning.”

“Chocolate chip?” she asked, hopeful.

He grinned at her. “Would I make anything else?”

Darcy tugged off her glasses and handed them to Bucky, so he could reach back and put them safely on the nightstand.

“Spoil me,” Darcy mumbled as she snuggled into his chest.

“That’s my job,” he whispered.

“It certainly is now,” she teased. “Love you, Buck. Night night.”

“Sleep well. I love you, too.”


End file.
